Sick

About a week ago we had a very sick girl on our hands. It all started on Friday afternoon when Amelia started running a fever and just wasn't herself. We knew she had been exposed to roseola a couple of weeks before at church so we were already kind of bracing ourselves for the possibility. By Saturday mid-day her fever was at 104 (with medicine) and our normally very active girl was completely lethargic. I called her pediatrician and to our relief they see sick patients on the weekend so we took her right in. At the office the doctor decided she wanted to run several tests since some of Amelia's symptoms were not in line with the roseola virus. All of these tests were painful and resulted in many tears-hers and mine. At one point a nurse was attempting to draw blood from Amelia while her daddy was holding her a still as he could. I was standing in front of her trying to distract her-which was not going well. As I looked down at my poor sick girl with her arms out stretched to me, tears streaming down her face as she cried "mama!" my heart was breaking. In that moment God gave me a picture of myself-arms outstretched, tears streaming, crying out and sick-sick with sin, heartache, despair, and confusion and I realized just as Amelia could not understand that this pain was for her good so often I cannot either. As much as I love her I knew picking her up from that chair would not be in her best interest. I knew that she had to experience that pain in order to find out what was wrong and then ultimately get well. I knew things that could not be explained or understood by Amelia at that time. Just as God works in my life in ways that I do not understand or I find painful I was reminded of His love for me and His desire for my good. Thankfully, it seems that all she had was a virus and the memories of our visit are far behind her. For me, however, I hope it sticks with me for a long time.

"The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love. The Lord is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made."

Psalm 145: 8-9